First of all, GO STEELERS!!!!  I have to say that ’cause my mom is from a small town near Pittsburgh, as is much of my family.  To all my extended family in Charleroi/Pittsburgh/Belle Vernon, check out the pics below to see the Steelers gear you sent me.  I wore the hat today for good luck, and I have the cozy blanket (although it’s actually pretty warm today–crazy, springlike weather!).  Thank you so much for those and for the cozy pjs (which I’ve worn a lot)!  So here’s looking forward to a Pittsburgh win!!  Although, the orangutan at the Oregon Zoo picked the Cardinals t-shirt and he’s been choosing the winners accurately for the last four years!  Check it out:  http://www.katu.com/news/local/38731057.html. How cute is that?!  They’re always one of my favorite animals to watch at the zoo because they’re hilarious!  They love to entertain…wish I could jump the fence and hang out with them for a while. 

OK, now it’s 11:30 and Pittsburgh won!!  WOOHOO!!  That was a great game.  My mom, dad, aunt and uncle were upset when James Harrison (Pittsburgh, #92) started beating on one of the Cardinals players (I don’t remember who it was).  I didn’t know him at all, mind you, but I decided to defend him just ’cause you never know, so I said “Maybe the other guy said something completely inappropriate and Harrison just couldn’t help himself from getting his anger out!”.  No one believed me and they kept talking about how they hated him throughout the game.  I kept defending him just ’cause I felt like it, saying “He just made a bad decision…blah, blah, blah”.  My mom, a true Pittsburgher at heart said, “What you do is, you wait ’til the game is over and then you beat the crap out of the guy!”  Hmmm, now, that makes sense!  Anywayyyy, the whole point of this is that I just looked him up, and apparently he doesn’t have the best of records.  He beat up his girlfriend, he shot off a BB gun in the locker room during his last year of high school, and bodyslammed an inebriated fan (this was a good thing though–apparently the guy needed to be restrained and Harrison was there to take on the job!)  So, perhaps I was wrong.  Although it did say he wants to become a veterinarian after his football career ends, so he must have a sensitive side if he loves animals, right?  Or maybe I’m a bit gullible.  In any case, it made me laugh to read the article after I defended him so strongly. 

One more thing about the game…they already have this in Wikipedia:  “During Super Bowl XLIII, Harrison was involved in a dramatic record setting play. Harrison intercepted a pass from Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner at the goal line and ran back the length of the field for a 100-yard touchdown at the end of the first half. The play was reviewed because he was tackled at the goal line. The review determined Harrison fell onto Cardinals‘ wide-reciever Larry Fitzgerald’s leg and then proceeded to fall into the end-zone, thus scoring a touchdown and giving the Steelers a 17-7 lead going into halftime. It’s the longest play in Super Bowl history and helped the Steelers win Super Bowl XLIII 27-23.”  Wow…Wikipedia is super speedy with their info!!

Hold on…I gotta take my meds…be right back…

OK, I’m back (lucky you!).  My appointment went well on Friday.  My counts were about the same as Monday, and my magnesium levels looked good, so I’m down to 10 mg pills a day instead of 12!  It always feels good to get rid of some pills.  :)  He told me I only have to come in for visits (and my blood counts) once a week which is nice.  I’m going to make an appointment with my ENT (my ear tube is still in!!!–remember, he put it in last summer before I left for Seattle?!), and a dermatologist, so he/she can give me a full check-up (I believe so they can do a more thorough check for skin GVHD).  So all is well…I have a bit of a headache right now, and I get those every so often, but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.  Besides, I mention everything to my doctors.  Anytime I have some symptom or ache, I write it down to mention to my doctor at my next appointment.  As I’ve written previously, just the act of writing it down seems to help me feel better.

You know what ALSO makes me feel better…dancing!!  (as if you didn’t know that already )…so while I was trying to clean up my room yesterday (it was becoming difficult to navigate it what with all the boxes and clothing strewn all over the place), I danced and sang to the craziest mix of music you’ve ever heard (e.g.Shakira, Alan Jackson, Andrea Bocelli (admittedly very hard to dance to, but a good sing-a-long), Fonseca, Maná, Aerosmith, Elvis, John Denver, Julieta Venegas, Dolly Parton, and Ben E. King, to name but a few). It felt really good, and I actually accomplished a good amount, although my entire body was aching by the end of the day (just like last weekend when I unpacked some stuff with Lori)…I think perhaps I need to learn to take more breaks instead of forcing my body to do more than it feels like doing right now.

Katie came into town yesterday afternoon, and we had a relaxing afternoon/evening (which was nice—my body was thanking me for sitting down and resting).  She, my mom and my dad were all reading their books, so I picked up a puzzle I’ve been trying to figure out for days now.  Do they always have “Second Glance” in the “Washington Post Magazine”?  It’s right at the beginning of the magazine, and they show you two pictures, with the instructions that although they look exactly alike, there are 12 differences between the photos.  Well, let me tell you, I looked at that thing for thirty minutes before I was convinced that somehow they printed up two of the same photos, and there were no differences!  I was getting pissed, but I finally discovered there were indeed differences, so I was pretty darn proud of myself.  I love puzzles like that! (PS I didn’t get anywhere near finishing the puzzle.)

Everyone went to bed before I did because I’m still having trouble going to sleep at a decent hour. I hate the feeling of waking up late, and this is something I need to work on right now. Anyway, I was getting ready for bed and organizing things a bit and I started crying. Sometimes worries, disappointments and fears seem to jump very suddenly into my brain and the tears will start. Usually it feels good to get them out, so I just sat there petting Jameson and crying. It did feel good, but I knew I didn’t want to go to bed in such a down mood, so I grabbed my “Self” magazine, hoping for a little distraction. Before I knew it, I was creating a new healthy grocery list to give my mom, and I was making lists of possible physical activities I can handle right now (like yoga–by DVD–can’t go to any class yet given my immune system), walking, hiking, dancing, zumba which looks awesome (I figure they have a DVD for that too). I read stories about some of the other readers, I checked out some good recipes, and the crying quickly subsided. I got excited about what I’m able to do, and it made me feel proud to have the power to distract myself and pour my negative energy into something more helpful.

The way I’ve been able to deal with the leukemia in general makes me proud because I realized the power that the mind can have over the body. For me, the more the distraction (family, friends, movies, animals, laughter, music), the better I feel, and I discovered this on my own. Nobody had to point out “why don’t you try this” or “why don’t you try that” to lift my spirits (although sometimes they had to remind me). I guess what I’m trying to say is that I know myself really well now, and I am proud that I can redirect my feelings when they become overwhelming. It seems to me that it will be a wonderful skill to have throughout life, not just now through this health crisis, but at various times in the long, beautiful life that awaits me. Do you find it at all ironic that cancer helped me learn how to live an even happier life? Perhaps the following quote best describes how perspective can change our feelings about life:

“There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” - Carl Jung

It’s perfectly written, I think. Not quite as touching as the old favorite, “What doesn’t kill you builds character”, but it’s still nice.

Wow, I’m being deep tonight. I’m also getting tired, so I’m off to brush my teeth and perhaps read a little more “Self” before bed.

I hope everyone enjoyed the weekend!! I think I should end this blog just as I started it:
GO STEELERS!!!!!!!

Love,
Julie