First of all, I slept like a baby last night (well, until 6:45 this morning…then I tossed and turned until almost noon).  Most importantly though, I didn’t have any nightmares about spiders or snakes (although Katie did…sorry ’bout that, Katie!!).  I stayed up late enough that my Ativan kicked in and I became so exhausted that it was all I could do to get up from the couch and walk to bed.  I don’t remember any dreams until this morning, when I dreamt that no one liked me.  I would meet new people, and they all made fun of me (but I can’t remember why)…I didn’t have any friends.  No wonder I was tossing and turning!!!

I did do some more snake/spider research tonight (you know, the whole thought that knowledge conquers fear?).  Interestingly, I read that some people think copperheads smell like cucumbers…have you ever heard of that?  Many people believe it’s a myth (mainly, those who have spent a lot of time studying the snake), that copperheads can put off a musk-type smell when frightened, but it doesn’t smell like “anything you’d want to put on your salad”, as one person wrote.  I was also happy to read that copperheads are not aggressive snakes (in contrast to water moccasins, a much more poisonous snake we have in these parts), and they bite only as a last resort (e.g. you step on them or handle them in some way).  I found this article that gives advice on how to keep snakes away from your property: http://www.ehow.com/how_4475221_repel-copperhead-water-moccasins.html.  Interesting, right?  Careful if you try out those moth balls–you don’t want your pets or children getting hold of them!  I will have a talk with Bella to tell her she needs to get going on those mice, and I won’t save them anymore when I catch her playing with them.  Enough snake talk though.  I will be more vigilant, and I will do all I can to prevent the dogs, cat and the rest of us from getting bitten.  I feel much better now that I’m armed with more information.

I tried finding out more about spiders and whether all mothers die after their babies are born.  I couldn’t find too much, but I didn’t look very long.  I do keep thinking of Charlotte though.  You know, despite the fact that I always loved that story, I had a habit of killing any and all spiders I came in contact with until I visited Kristen, a friend from the flower shop where I worked.  This was many years ago!!  Her apartment was beautiful, full of live plants and flowers.  When we sat outside on her porch, there was a large spider web, and when I pointed it out to her, she said “Oh yah, he used to be inside until he got really big, and I kicked him out here”.  She explained all the good things spiders do for us, and the experience made me totally rethink my home spider strategy.  From that point on, I would scoop up the little guy/gal into a paper cup and deposit him outside.  Sometimes I would even let them stay in the house (but no obvious webs allowed).  I felt proud of myself for being so brave, and I hoped the spiders would notice my efforts and give back the love by never biting or overstepping their boundaries.  :)  I still plan on following said procedure when confronting a spider, but I simply couldn’t allow the babies to wander free.  If only they had been born in another location, and I had no idea!!

Now that I have a greater appreciation for them, I find myself admiring their webs when I see them.  The design is always amazing, but what really calls for admiration is the fact that even when we or something else knocks down their webs, they always build new ones.  Have you ever sat there and watched a spider construct a web?  It’s almost hypnotizing, a slow and precise process.  We think nothing of it to knock it down with a broom because no one wants webs on their porches (or wherever they may be!), but the spider doesn’t give up and sulk off (if spiders sulk ); it simply starts again.  I think this would make a wonderful children’s story, and someday I plan on writing it!  The lesson can be about the value of determination, and also the importance of appreciating nature.  Not that it could come close to “Charlotte’s Web”, but I think it could be good!  Next time you’re thinking of stomping on an intrusive insect (or destroying a web that just isn’t bothering anyone!), remember Charlotte and all the good things spiders do.  Thinking back on the book and movie, E.B. White did such a marvelous job of teaching while also telling a beautiful story.  If you pay attention, you can learn a lot about the lives and behavior of spiders, and it’s actually pretty fascinating.  Speaking of not squishing insects though, there is one insect I have no problem squishing…the mosquito.  Sorry, buddy, but you’re a blood-sucking, disease-carrying, revolting little guy, and there is no place for you here.  And as for those baby spiders, well you know I didn’t want to do it, but I explained myself.  May they rest in peace up in spider heaven. 

Wow…another whole blog of insect talk!!  Who knows though?  Maybe you’ll think twice about squashing your bugs now–I could have just saved thousands of spider lives by blogging about this!!  Moving on to bigger and better things though, we went out to Aunt Nancy and Uncle Bill’s house to have dinner this afternoon, and it was deeeelicious!!!!!!  Thanks so much for having us!  We played dominoes (see photos below), and although it took a while to explain it to my padres, we got a good game going.  I think I have to practice though…time to break out those wooden dominoes I got in Cuba….anyone up for a game?  Aunt Bitsy, I know you love Mexican train!!!  Next time you’re down, we’ll have to play.

So does anyone out there read the “Washington Post Magazine”?  Kristin, I know you do!!  You actually got me started on the magazine (different Kristin from before…this is our family friend, Kristin (she grew up in my neighborhood!)).  This week in the XX Files (various essays by female writers), a young student (a freshman in college) ponders the meaning of life.  What is the point of all the constant errands, stress, homework, activities?  I was struck by the article because I have been wondering the very same thing lately…not in a negative way, like “why do I have to put up with this”, but more simply, “what is the meaning of life?”.  Wow….deep.  Even though I’m not living a typical life right now, activities still come to feel mundane and repetitive, full of “to-do” lists.  Is there a reason we’re here or are we existing just for the sake of it?  I still have lots more reflecting to do, but the best I can come up with is that we’re here to learn so that our journey is much more interesting…we’re here to find a skill and utilize it to help others…we’re here to enjoy ourselves, and to share that enjoyment with a variety of people we meet along the way.  There is no one answer to the question, and life can only be what you make of it.  I used to make fun when people asked such a deep, seemingly silly question, but now I have an abundance of time to think and reflect on my life as it used to be, as it is now and how I envision it to be in the future, thus I’ve come to wonder “what is the purpose?”.  I’m glad I asked myself the question, because now I appreciate life’s details all the more.  There is no grand purpose for every little activity, but I figure we keep on plowing ahead and wisdom will come with age, as they say.  I just want to make sure I don’t get caught up stressing about daily details so much so that I can no longer see the big picture.  As I’ve written before, I know my experience with leukemia gave me the gift of perspective, and I feel lucky to be able to turn around, retrace my steps and remember to value the inherent gift that life is.  Does the meaning of it all really matter?  As long as we give of ourselves and learn to find joy in each day, life is what it is:  a series of experiences…joyful, sad, hysterical, fun, thoughtful, inspiring, challenging experiences.

Because we have such a limited time to pile on the experiences, I often wonder why people are so careful with things:  clothes, couches, tables, chairs, china, jewelry.  I mean, I get it, you don’t want anything to happen to nice items, but I agree with Jan Karon:  “Bottom line, wasn’t life itself a special occasion?”  So throw on your favorite necklace (even if you’re just going to the store!), take the covering off your fancy couch, buy that gorgeous dry-clean only item and why not dine on the china whenever the mood strikes you!  Dine on china on a Wednesday just ’cause you had a rough day and the pretty pattern might give you that little lift you need!  Most importantly though, invite your friends and family over to fill up the couch and wear your favorite outfit and necklace when they come so your confidence shines through.  Then you can all talk about the meaning of life and add a wonderful night’s memory of conversation to your pile of experiences.

OK, I’m done with my sermon.  :)  You still awake?  Deep thoughts by Julie.  Hey, I’m entitled to them–as you know, I have lots of time to think, so I figured I’d throw all my thoughts out there!  Do with them as you please.  =)

I’m pretty tired now–too much thinking!!!  My brain hurts.  hahahaha

Hope you all had an enjoyable weekend!!!

Lots of love,

Julie