Well, here we are closing in on day 28!! Can you believe four weeks have passed since the transplant? The doctors, nurses and my family all think I’m doing wonderfully which is good to hear. But to be honest, it’s also frustrating, because when they said I’d be fatigued, I had no idea what it would be like. I guess I was thinking to myself, “So I’ll be a little tired like last time with the chemo…no biggie.” but alas it is an all-consuming fatigue that I have struggled with every day since the transplant. Don’t be worried or anything, they all think it is normal and that I’m doing exceptionally well. Luckily they think I’m a “boring” patient (as my physician’s assistant said Friday when he and my nurse told me I would only be coming to the clinic a couple days a week). I’m glad to be boring and to be healthy (well, you know, relatively speaking). My social worker mentioned today that sitting around and napping does not go with my personality, so in that way, no matter what anyone says, I’m frustrated to be living like this.

I still try to walk almost a mile each day, although I took this weekend off. I also put on my yoga DVD today, but only as I lay down on the couch. I wanted to check it out before actually doing it myself. The lady’s voice made me verrrrry sleepy, so I might just end up doing relaxation for a half hour instead of striking various yoga poses.

I’m also frustrated that my eyes are constantly at half-mast because I feel like I look drugged. Yet, I know I have to be taking all the meds I’m on, and believe me, there are a lot!!!!! I feel like I can’t focus very well on what people are saying, that perhaps I have ADD…my social worker said it’s also common for people to feel this way. In fact, lots of people who love to read can’t do so for a period of time after the transplant because of everything going on in the body. I always love to read before bed, but I have no staying power!! Like I told her this morning, I feel like there’s a magnet in my body, one in my bed, and one in the couch, and I’m just magically drawn to those things while I’m in the apartment. I just can’t help it! So while talking with everyone about this frustration I’ve learned that 1)I should push myself, but only to a point…doing a mile a day is excellent for where I am right now, and if I can fit in some yoga, even better!! But, I also have to 2)listen to my body and rest whenever necessary. I honestly never thought fatigue could feel this bad, and I am so sorry for anyone out there who experiences this. I certainly don’t want any pain or anything bad going on in my body (I have a bone marrow biopsy tomorrow—-be thinking good thoughts!!!!), but feeling so incredibly exhausted feels almost like another illness on top of the leukemia. I will continue my walks and our searches for the cutest dogs in Seattle (it’s really a shame I can’t date here, ’cause there are lots of cute guys, lots of them have dogs, and here I am all tired, no makeup, with swollen eyes….now that’s pretty!!!!!) And you wonder why there haven’t been many closeups on the blog lately?!!! hahahahaha

Anyway, I’m in bed so of course the pillow is magnetically pulling my head downwards, but I wanted to include the following link to this video. I thought it was really touching, and I think I’m gonna pull off the same trick when I get home with the video….now I just have to find some good music…..they better be excited to see me, damnit!! Enjoy!

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/12/the-dogs-of-warrior/?ei=5070&emc=eta1

I’m no soldier, but I was out here fighting my own fight, and I’m pretty sure I’ll get the same greeting once I head back to 7907 Oakshire. And speaking of soldiers, Happy almost Veteran’s Day (Nov. 11) to all of you heros: Tiso, Bill H., “Pop-pop” Matthews, Jeff G., Uncle Pete, Jeff B…..I know I’m missing a lot of people, but I’m gonna blame it on the chemo-brain ’cause I can’t think coherently for a long period of time!! OK, well that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you know what I mean. To all you soldiers, thank you for everything you did and are doing for our country. I noticed something on-line the other day where you can “adopt a soldier”….sounds pretty cool! I didn’t get to read up much on it, but I think you have to write cards and send little gifts probably once or twice a week…just guessing, if it’s anything like the chemoangels group I worked with before getting hit with the big C for the second AND LAST time.

Anyway, enjoy the video, and lotsa love to everyone.

Julieara (we decided that was prettier that JuLaura).