Hmmm…good question, right?  Beautiful flowers are starting to come out, yet we might get some snow tonight!!  Interesting weather, we’re having, and I’m loving it!  After my walk today, I played with Jameson and Guinness in the front yard, and I noticed all the blossoms opening up, so I took some pictures to share with you.  The cherry blossoms are only starting to open, and some of the magnolias should be fully open in a couple days.  The daffodils are, of course, the first flower of spring, so they’re already gorgeous!

Have I told you my feelings about daffodils?  I can’t remember.  Following my first treatment for leukemia in 2005, I became addicted to the show “Miami Ink” (about tatoos).  Before this show, I never wanted a tatoo, but after watching it, I realized that many of them aren’t just body art; they also have great meaning to the person wearing them.  I thought, “Well, I would like a tatoo”!  I didn’t want it anywhere conspicuous though.  I watched the show every week, trying to decide what tatoo I would want.  I learned that some people use them to cover up scars, and it came to me!  I should have a tatoo to cover my bone marrow biopsy dots on my back (in the hip area).  Don’t ask me how I learned this, but I discovered that the daffodil is acknowledged as the first flower of spring.  It breaks through the tough, cold soil to show off it’s beautiful yellow bloom.  I thought, “Now THAT would have a lot of meaning for me.  I can cover up my bone marrow dots with an artistic chain of daffodils (in color, of course!), because after all I’ve been through, aren’t I a bit like a daffodil?”  I felt like I had, in a sense, been reborn because I conquered leukemia (and the fact that the daffodils come back every year, despite the environment, seems exactly like a rebirth).  Then, I learned about the American Cancer Society (ACS) and Daffodil Days (where you can donate to  ACS and they will send daffodils to you or a loved one.  You can even make a contribution to have them delivered anonymously to someone in the hospital…I thought that sounded really cool.  Anyway, if you want to learn more, check this out: http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PAR/Content/PAR_4_1_Daffodils_About_Daffodil_Days.asp or get in touch with a local ACS office).  Sooooo, on with my story.  I learned 1)they were the first flower of spring and 2)they were the symbol of hope for the ACS…I figured I made the right choice for my tatoo.  I would wait until my blood counts came way up before getting the tatoo, but I was really excited.  Unfortunately, the leukemia came back before I could have it done, but daffodils symbolize something very special for me now.  I don’t think it’s worth it now to risk any possible problems with a tatoo, so I won’t be getting one.  Seeing them bloom outside is enough to bring a smile to my day…well, that and cutting a few to put in my room…it adds such a warm yellow glow to any space.  :)  That’s a long story about daffodils, don’t you think?  But maybe now when you happen upon some while you’re out driving or walking around, you’ll stop and give them the notice that they deserve.  They’re strong and forgiving of a harsh environment, and their bright yellow color is enough to bring some sunshine to a rainy day.

Moving on from my daffodils monologue, I tried some speed walking today (arms and all!)!  It felt so good.  I love the feeling of twisting my waist while walking because I can almost sense the inches coming off.  Yup, speed walking is perfect for whittling the waist.  Not that I want to lose a lot of weight…I need to lose about 7-10 pounds to be where I was before my transplant.  I need to get rid of my muffin-top (you know, when your belly hangs out over the top of your pants?), and I need to fit into my pants!!  :)  I’m not technically watching what I eat, because I love food.  I rarely drink Coke though, and you know that’s huge for me!  For the most part, when I’m thirsty, I make myself drink water first.  If I’m still thirsty after a bottle of water, I’ll treat myself to a Coke.  I’m picking up some snacking ideas from magazines, and I have a hot chocolate with marshmallows/Reddi Whip for my dessert most nights (after all, I have to eat something chocolatey!!).  We’ll see how long it takes before I can fit into my pants perfectly!

One more comment for today.  So you all know that I watch TV (I’m trying to cut back on that too!), and I’m pretty sure you know how I feel about commercials.  Except for a select few, I mute them.  The most annoying commercials to me?!—eassssssy to answer that one.  The ones with the guy that yells.  I think you know to whom I’m referring.  I googled “yelling commercial guy” and found some more info about him (aren’t you excited?!).  His name is Billy Mays, and apparently he will be in a reality show called “Pitchmen”.  It premieres April 15th on Discovery.  I can’t think of a more relaxing way to finish up tax day, 2009.  Hahahahaha  yeah, right!!!!!  Check it out: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/08/20/billy-mays-commercial-sup_n_120019.html.  From the little bit of research I did, he seems to have lots of fans…how can that be?  Am I missing something?  Sure, sometimes he does make me want to buy the product, but is it really because he TALKS SO LOUD?!  Perhaps the show will tell us more about what makes him so successful.  Don’t forget…April 15th!  I expect reviews of his new show!

Anyhoo, I’m off to watch “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Private Practice” (that whole not-watching-tv-as-much rule doesn’t apply on Thursday nights).

Have a wonderful Friday!

Love,

Julie

Yup!  You read it right!  I went to see an orthopedist today about my knee, and he recommended that I start cycling.  I can still walk for exercise, but he said that biking (or cycling, as he corrected me ) would be good for my knee.  So I’m breaking out my bike!!  I don’t have a stationary one, and I’d rather be outside given the choice, so soon I’ll be out and about, helmet and all.  But I definitely plan on keeping up with the walking!!  He also recommended doing some exercises that strengthen my quads, so I will be concentrating on that too.

He didn’t see any problems on the various X-rays, but if I continue to have pain, I will have an MRI.  By the way, the X-ray technician was this really cute guy.  I had to put one of those gowns on, and when he came back to get me, I had to tell him I was having a little difficulty tying up the gown –and nooooo–it wasn’t my way of hitting on him (I mean, seriously, is there anyone out there who can tie one of those?  It’s like some sort of puzzle)!  Anyway, I failed, and I told him of my troubles and asked if I was the only patient who struggled with it.  He replied that the gowns themselves were simply defective, so I felt much better.  He was kind enough to get me another gown that I put on in the other direction, so nothing was hanging out!  He was probably thinking “This girl has more problems than just a sore knee!!”.  :)  hahahaha  No, he was really nice.

So I need to work on creating an exercise plan to see whether that is all I need to relieve the knee discomfort.  I go to my orthopedist again in four weeks.  As I wrote above, if I’m still having pain, he’ll order an MRI, and the next step could possibly be a Cortisone injection in the knee (with the approval of my oncologists, of course).  I hope I won’t need it!  MOTION IS LOTION!!  That’s my new chant.  :)  I told him how important it is to get my knee back in good working order so I can continue participating in TNT events! :)  Oh, and some good news he shared with me:  I look young!  That’s right, folks…he said I must get carded all the time, and that I don’t look 31.  It’s good because, of course, I want to look young, but it’s bad in that I’m indeed old if someone comments that I don’t look my age and it’s a compliment.  When you’re younger, you always want to appear older, you know?  When you’re old, you want to appear younger.  I’ve arrived at that point.  Oh well!  At least he didn’t think I appeared older than my age.  …I know, not even related to my knee, but it was good news to hear nonetheless!

So what else has been going on here…Aunt Bitsy left today, but we’re looking forward to another visit in May once her classes are done (in case you didn’t know, Aunt Bitsy is a professor of nursing…and a darn good one, I might add!!).  I let my neighbors’ dogs out and played with them for a while.  It was gorgeous out there today!  On my walk back home, I picked up another neighbor and friend, Mrs. Dowdy, and we walked back to my house.  We’re looking forward to being walking buddies!  We talked about everything, and there was one comment she made that I really wanted to share with you, because I thought it was so beautifully worded.  She said she likes to think of my time and treatment in Seattle as a big wave, one ready to crush anything in its path.  Instead of being trapped by its fury, my mom and I are surfing the top of the wave and riding it into the shore (I hope I did it justice, Mrs. Dowdy…I know I didn’t remember it word-for-word!).  I absolutely love that image, and I think I’ll incorporate it into my visualization.

The ocean in general seems to be a good analogy for a disease…I know, sounds weird, but hear me out.  Its waters (cancer, in my case) are incredibly powerful, and it’s important to acknowledge this before leaving the safety of the beach (the epitome of good health).  You might just get swept right out there without any warning, and you have to submit and go with the flow of the water to keep afloat (acknowledge your disease and seek treatment).  It’s important to keep the shoreline in focus (remission!!).  Respect the power of the water and the creatures that live beneath it’s surface (arm yourself with knowledge about your disease), but don’t forget to smile and delight in dolphins or clownfish (e.g.Nemo) or any positive distraction that comes your way (find something good in each day).  In the meantime, wait patiently for that kayak to bring you back to shore (the doctors, nurses, friends and family who guide your way).

I firmly believe I’m walking along the shoreline now, still wary of any crabs or jellyfish that could lie underfoot, but I’m smiling up at the horizon.  The sun is warming my shoulders (that are covered in sunblock, of course!), and I can just make out the beach house where we used to stay every year in the Outer Banks.  The dunes are damaged a little bit more than before, and the house doesn’t look quite as new as when we first discovered it, but I see my family on the various balconies, sitting in the hammock, playing on the beach, and I sigh with relief and joy to know that my life continues on, and the memories keep piling up.

Wow…I’m being deep tonight, huh?  (oops, anther ocean reference!  hahahahaha)  Seriously though, those are just my thoughts.  I definitely don’t automatically think of the ocean as a disease (or I wouldn’t like to go the beach much, would I?), but I figured it could make for another good analogy.  Maybe I’m just tired and all of this won’t sound as good when I re-read it tomorrow.  hmmm…

Speaking of, I guess it’s time to hit the hay.  As I wrote that, I wondered where the phrase came from, so here’s a link I found….verrry interesting.  “In 1902, mattresses were often sacks stuffed with straw or hay (hence the similar phrase ‘hit the sack’).The phrase ‘hit the hay’ seems to have originated in the US sports scene. The Oakland Tribune, July 1903, reported this: “‘Sam’ Berger, the Olympic heavyweight … was sleepy and he announced that ‘he was going to hit the hay.’”  In 1905, Paxton Sport USA included this:  [the baseball player] “has a language of his own. Going to bed for him is to ‘hit the hay.’” “…fascinating, don’t you think?  Now that I’ve shared that very important tidbit of information, I’m off.  I hope everyone is doing well!

Love,

Julie

Here we are, starting another week, and what a gorgeous day it was!!  And it’s a pretty nice evening too…have you seen the moon?  I shut the windows tonight ’cause it got a little chilly, but it was nice to have a spring weekend.  Now I’m sitting here with my pups, getting ready for bed, and trying to get my mind thinking about something else other than the disturbing “Medium” episode we just watched.  :)  I know, I do it to myself with all these crime shows I watch.  Maybe I need to give myself a little “Golden Girls” therapy, whatdoyathink?

Aunt Bitsy got here Saturday, and we’re all having a wonderful time.  Unfortunately, my mom’s under the weather, so she’s not able to enjoy Aunt Bitsy’s visit as much as she usually does, but I know she loves having her here.  I guess that’s one of the best things about close friendships…it’s like having another family member in the house, so you don’t feel like you have to entertain all the time.  Having Aunt Bitsy is easy and fun for my mom (and for all of us!) because she falls so easily into our family rhythm.  She came down to help out when each of us were born, so she was family from the beginning.  And she was part of my mom’s family many years before my parents even met!  I know I’ve written about it before, but they’ve known each other since they were 18, I believe, when they were in nurse’s training together.  It’s so much fun to watch a friendship that is so effortless and true.  I hope everyone can experience a friendship like they have.

I have a bit of a headache right now, so I’m going to rest and read a little before falling asleep.  I know looking at computers never helps cure headaches!  I attached a few photos from the last several days, so I hope you enjoy them!

Also, before I forget, guess what was on Oprah the day after my last post….the Snuggie!!!!  hahahahaha  What are the chances, huh?  Anyway, apparently the creator of the Snuggie is making lots of money, but more interesting to me, there is a Snuggie pub crawl craze making it’s way around the country!!!  Check this out:  http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-talk-snuggiefeb14,0,2462007.story Now that would be hilarious and also fun, I’m sure.  I doubt the docs will OK it though.  :)  Maybe next year!  It’s pretty funny to read that the Snuggie has acquired a “cult-like” status!!

OK, I’m off to bed.  And if any of you have Snuggies, don’t be offended!  I’m sure I would enjoy mine if I had one….especially for that pub crawl. 

Love,

Julie

It’s crazy, isn’t it?  The time is going by pretty quickly, and the seventh will mark five months since my transplant.  In some ways, five months sounds like nothing, but when I look at it from another angle, five months is almost six months, which is only 6 months away from a year (aren’t you impressed with my advanced math skills?!!).  The more time that passes, the more secure I feel.  Duh, I’m just stating the obvious, huh?

So everything is going well here.  Let’s see…I’m down to six tablets of magnesium a day…woohoo!!!  I saw a dermatologist for the first time Tuesday.  She did a full body check-up, and she said I passed with flying colors!!  Following a bone marrow transplant, it’s possible to develop a secondary cancer, and skin cancer is apparently one of the more common kinds that patients may have.  To clarify, secondary cancers can happen at any time, but from what I understand, there’s a slightly increased risk for transplant patients.  I’ll ask my doctor next week, so I can explain it better.  I don’t really worry about the secondary cancers, because I do all I can to prevent them:  checking my body for any changes, doing self-breast exams, wearing sunscreen every day (even in the winter, and even if I don’t plan to be outside a lot!), visiting various doctors.

And speaking of, I have an appointment to see an orthopedist about my knee next week.  As I wrote previously, it’s not horribly painful, but it is consistently achy, and I plan on walking several more events for Team in Training, so I need to get it checked out.  I read online that “motion is lotion”, so I’ve been keeping up several days a week with walking in the neighborhood.  I hope that my doctor will be able to pass on some exercises to me.  I definitely feel like the past months introduced me a bit to what it may feel like to age:  you suddenly find that your joints don’t feel as lubricated as they did when you were younger, you find yourself more out of breath when walking up the stairs, you put a pillow behind you when you sit on the couch because it feels good on your back.  It’s pretty shocking when you start realizing your body has more limitations.  I have a good feeling that these aches and discomforts will go away for me, but it helped to make me more sympathetic to anyone experiencing something similar.

Wow…I guess I had a lot to say about those little aches!  I can deal with the bone marrows, but not the aches?  Weird, huh?  :)  To finish informing you about all my appointments, I’ll move on to my oncologist.  My numbers have gone down a bit in the past few weeks, but they tell me that this is normal following a transplant.  A nurse practitioner also told me that I do still have some of my own blood cells left.  I thought since they said I was 100% Laura that I had 100% her cells and none of my own!  I don’t really understand it, but apparently red blood cells have an average life cycle of 120 days, and I won’t be COMPLETELY Laura for a couple more months.  Hmmmm….very confusing.  I just keep visualizing her cells surrounding mine like some sort of gang or something, then they squash them.  A little violent, I know, but I don’t trust my little guys so it’s time for them to “disappear”.

On a more positive note, remember how I mentioned in the last post that Laura and I discovered a secret to making cooking more entertaining?  OK, here’s the key to it:  pretend like you have your own cooking show, and talk to the audience while you work.  It’s much more fun with more than one person (I haven’t tried it on my own, but I’m sure it could still be entertaining…your family might think you’re crazy, but it would still be fun!).  Laura and I realized our show probably couldn’t go on the air though because there were a couple cuss words that came out while we were baking (it was totally Laura, of course!).  hahahaha  I think we would make good tv personalities though.  Katie, maybe you and Kathy could join us, and it could be a sisters’ cooking show!

Hmmm…what else did I tell you I was going to mention?  Oh, my dad’s coat!  I’ve come to love it because it’s warmer than my coat.  I know I look like a blueberry in it (see picture below), but I love it!  It’s so warm.  Guess how old it is?  It’s from the 80s!!!  Crazy, huh?  I looked up the brand of the jacket, and a notice from e-bay popped up and said something about a “vintage jacket”…hahahaha  I don’t know if my dad found it as funny as I did!  Apparently now the company specializes in ski bindings.  I really look hot when I wear the blue coat with my brown and white snow hat and my bright green mittens.  I swear that one of these years, I’ll have coordinated outerwear, but right now it’s all about feeling cozy.  :)  As far as my day in the snow this week, well, see the photos below.  It was wonderful.  My dad and I took the dogs for a walk in the neighborhood, both on the road and in the woods, I played with them outside, I took care of some to-do items, and I enjoyed some hot cocoa.  I’m looking forward to sledding again someday…I haven’t done it in such a long time!  I figure now is not the time to be practicing. 

Lastly, regarding my post from the other day, I will address the “Snuggie”.  I apologize beforehand if anyone owns one of these.  If you haven’t seen the cheesy commercial, check out the website:  https://www.getsnuggie.com/flare/next?tag=os|sm|go|tm .  In theory, it seems like a good idea, however, it just seems ridiculous to me!  Why can’t you simply put more layers on when you’re sitting around on the couch or heading out to a football game?  You have to listen to what they say on the website…my favorite part is when they talk about your hands being “trapped inside” a blanket, and how challenging this can be when you need to reach for something…”trapped”?  Seriously?!!  I don’t have that many problems with my blankets, do you?  Every time I see the commercial, it cracks me up…they are so goofy looking!

OK, there, I got it out.  I didn’t realize I felt so strongly about it.  Again, if you have one, please don’t take offense!  You’ll probably have the last laugh anyway when I find myself “trapped” under a blanket someday. 

Another long post by Julie Matthews.  What can I say?  I’m feeling well, although I was pretty tired today.  I ran out of Ativan, and I did not have a good night’s sleep.  I was still able to fall asleep, but I woke up all throughout the night, and without the Ativan, I had a very difficult time falling asleep each time.  I also had nightmare after nightmare.  I look forward to when I don’t need any aid to help me sleep, but right now it’s more important that I’m able to sleep so my body can stay strong.  I’ll deal with the sleeping situation when it’s a more appropriate time to do so.

Hope you enjoy the photos below!  Can you tell who I spend most of my time with?  :)  They’re my best buds, and I’m so happy to be home with them.

Enjoy your Friday, and the warmer weather that’s coming with it (if you’re in VA, that is). 

Lots of love,

Julie

Here I am!!  I bet you’ve missed me this past week or however many days it’s been.  :)  All is well here.  In fact, I’m basking in the glow of the freshly fallen snow—ok, that’s a lie.  It sounds a lot better than “basking in the glow of the computer” though, don’t you think?  Seriously though, the snow’s really coming down out there now!!  God must have listened when I requested one good snowfall before spring.

All is good.  I’m feeling well, going for walks (I did 3 miles yesterday with the dogs!!), driving around town, dancin’ around the house and yup, breaking out the hula hoop!  I really have to get some practicing in because a friend of mine is having a hula hooping contest at her wedding later this year!  No, I have no delusions of winning because I just am not that coordinated with it, but I’ll get better than I am now, that’s for sure!  The main part of hula hooping for me is the smiling.  For real, try to do it without cracking a smile, I dare you.  In fact, I triple dog dare you (yes, I learned my bullying skills from “A Christmas Story” )!!  Let me know how it goes.

I had a wonderful night tonight.  Six of us from high school got together for a girls’ night (we try to do this every so often, and it always turns into an evening full of nothing but laughter).  I feel so lucky to have all these wonderful women in my life.  I guess it’s extra special because we’ve known each other so long (some of us since elementary school!).  Even if we lost touch for a while when we were busy or not living in the area, once we’re together, it feels like no time has passed.  There is always a lot of catching up to do on our lives/work/families, but it feels so effortless to get back in the groove.

OK, now it’s Monday night, and I’m trying to finish up the post so you can all know that I’m doing well.  I have lots to say (I know, you’re thinking “Uh-oh!  It’s gonna be a long one!”).  No worries tonight though because I’m too tired to put all the info in considering it’s 11:30 PM, and I have three different appointments tomorrow, the first at 10 AM which is quite early for me, as you all know. 

Here’s a quick preview of what I might talk about more in-depth in the next post:  how I feel about the “Snuggie” (advertised on TV), a tip to make cooking more entertaining, my dad’s winter coat from the 80s and my day in the snow.  You can’t wait, can you?!  Well, you’ll have to just sit there in suspense.  In the meantime, here’s a little something to entertain you.  It’s a video about Koko (the gorilla who does sign language)…it’s amazing.  I’ve had this thing for gorillas since I saw “Gorillas in the Mist”, and one of my psych professors at UVA helped to train Koko.  Her skills truly are amazing.  Check out this video (one of many showcasing her ability to communicate): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdACUfI6nA0&feature=related.  Speaking of gorillas, if you haven’t been to the Bronx Zoo, you need to check it out.  The “Congo Gorilla Forest Exhibit” makes you feel as though they are watching you, rather than the typical zoo set-up where we humans gaze at them.  I could watch them all day long.  I know this seems like a random topic, but Ronnie sent me the video, and I just had to share it with you!

On to another random topic, music.  Maura O’Connell is a folk singer from Ireland, and the Matthews fam has always enjoyed her music.  She has one of the strongest female voices I’ve heard.  I recently discovered this song, and I wanted to share it with you.  It’s called “Trip Around the Sun”, and I find it soothing, not only because of her beautiful voice, but also because of the words she sings.  Let me know if you agree: http://www.mauraoconnell.com/disc_dont_i_know.html (Click on “Trip Around the Sun”, and hopefully it will play it for you–it doesn’t play the whole thing though, so you may just have to get the song on itunes!).

OK, that’s all I have to share tonight!  Stay tuned (hopefully tomorrow), and I’ll catch you up on other important goings-on in my life.  :)  Tomorrow I see a dermatologist (just for a general check-up), my wonderful social worker (whom I haven’t seen since before I left for Seattle!), and my oncologist (one of them…I’m seeing two right now, my original oncologist to whom I’m very attached and the bone marrow transplant specialist who is greatly respected in the transplant field).

I’m fading fast, so it’s off to bed I go.  Hope everyone enjoyed the snow day!  Be careful out there!

Love,

Julie