Hi there! I have so much to say, so let’s see if I can get it all out right now…hello?! You still there? Or did you read that I had lots to say, and just close out of the blog! Don’t worry, I’ll forgive you…but I’ll know whether you read or not by the questions you ask me?! hahahaha just teasin’. I’m sitting here, trying to type with really long nails…come on, platelets, please hit 100,000 so I can cut my nails. Seriously, how do women function with long nails? It drives me craaaaaaazy.

I’m having some issues with downloading the photos, and I don’t have the energy (or the patience, really ) to deal with it tonight, so you’ll have to wait in suspense. Let’s start with my last day in VA. Sunday morning, I finished packing and doing some last minute things and I got in a couple frisbee throws with the pups. In the afternoon, Paulina, Jack, Rachel, Lori and Tim came over to hang out, and we enjoyed a delicious steak dinner with my favorite veggie, asparagus. Around 3:00 or so, Ronnie told me we had to get going because traffic was bad. My heart skipped a beat, and soon the tears came…well, not just tears, but sobs. I knew they were in there waiting to come out after weeks of dreading the moving day (even though it’s only for 4 1/2 months, I still consider it a move!). Gradually everyone made their way out of the house and into the cars, but I stayed a minute longer to give Jameson and Guinness extra hugs, and to try and get through to them that I would return (no, I’m not crazy, but like many people, I talk to my pets as though they could understand everything I say, hoping someday they might answer….hahahah, just kidding about the last part. Then I really would be a little crazy!!). It was incredibly hard to leave the house and to see them peering at me through the door and then the window as I climbed into the car with all my gear.

I tried not to look back too much, and as we drove out Oakshire, my mom pointed out balloons and yellow ribbons on our neighbors’ mailboxes. The balloons read “We love you”, and I figured it was just something those two neighbors decided to do on their own. My mom turned right out of our street instead of left, saying she wanted to give me another tour of the neighborhood on our way out. I looked around, and there was a yellow ribbon on almost everyone’s mailbox. Some had ribbons on each fencepost, some had them on trees, but they were everywhere! I was incredibly touched and surprised, and I was reminded of my incredible support network. We had a caravan of cars taking the “tour” (my fam in two cars, Lori and Tim, Paulina and Jack and Rachel), and we drove down every cul-de-sac to see the beautiful ribbons. When we got to the bus stop area, my mom looked over and said “What’s going on down there?!” I’m a little slow, so I said, “I have no idea”…as we pulled closer, you could see balloons, signs cheering Laura and me on and many, many neighbors all gathered to wish me well. I just couldn’t believe it…all these people are here for me (and my family?). Of course, the tears streamed down again, but they were happy mixed with sad…happy that so many people came out to wish me well and sad that I was leaving them all. Mrs. Bruce, thank you so much for organizing that. It helped to change my attitude that day. It was a “Pollyana” send-off, as my mom says. I talked with as many neighbors as I could, and Mrs. Butler said a beautiful prayer for me and my whole family. Neighbors also brought their dogs sporting yellow ribbons on their collars…everyone knows my love of animals, and for a long time, I took care of many dogs in English Hills (our neighborhood).

The time came to leave again, and the tears started once more. We finished our tour of English Hills, and started on our way to BWI. “Here we go”, I thought. “This is not a practice run. I’m leaving Virginia until January”. We took two separate cars to BWI, and hit no traffic (Ronnie only used that as a way to get me out of the house early for the party!). We arrived too quickly, and I said goodbye to Dad, Katie, Ronnie, Kathy and Tiso. Again with the sobs, but it felt good to get it out. I know everyone will come and visit, but leaving for medical reasons obviously makes any long trip much more emotionally laden, and I felt scared and sad.

We upgraded our seats to business class, which was super-comfortable, especially for such a long trip! After being in the air for a while, Laura and my mom pulled out beautiful notes you all wrote me, and I just couldn’t believe it. Katie, you can never understand how much I appreciate you organizing that. It distracted me for a long time on the plane; I was crying and laughing, and I was again in awe of the support network you all created for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Between the notes, watching Jim Gaffigan and “the Perfect Murder”, it was a wonderful ride over to Seattle, despite the purposes for traveling. Katie gave me a “lucky egg” that turns into a lion (kind of like a transformer) to represent strength in the journey ahead. But it has a double meaning: I love the movie “Cool Runnings” (one of my favorites), and if you’ve seen it, you might remember how one of them carried around a lucky egg in his pants, and he asked all his teammates to kiss the lucky egg before heading off on a run in the bobsled. I now have my own lucky egg, but I’m the only one allowed to kiss it (sorry, but when your counts are low, you can’t be too careful!!). I’m carrying it around in my purse.

Things are going well here in Seattle. My apartment is great, and I love the views, as I mentioned in my previous post. We went to the Hutch yesterday to meet with part of our transplant team. Laura and I both had our blood drawn and had physicals. In between appointments, we met a lady who reminded us of a close family friend, Mrs. Hampshire (and another animal lover!). The lady attracted our attention because she was walking around with a service dog, an adorable Havanese/Yorkshire Terrier mix named Sasha. Laura and I of course asked to pet her (the dog, not the lady), and started talking with her owner. Turns out this lady must be another one of those angels in disguise whom we’ve met over the last few months. She gave me her name and information, and said she’d be happy to come visit with us whenever I wanted so I could get in some good quality canine time. I will definitely be calling her, and I’ll put up a picture of Sasha whenever I can…she is such a cutie.

We had a delicious lunch/dinner at “Pink Door” down near Pike Place Market yesterday. Oh, by the way, my counts yesterday were more what I expected to see. My hematocrit was 24, so I got blood today. My neutrophils were .96, and my white count was 2.something…in any case, it wasn’t 15 like it was the other day…that was weird. So my counts still need to go up, but all in all I’m doing well. I had a pretty annoying anemia headache Friday through now (even though I got blood this evening, it doesn’t get better right away). Anyway, they said I can still go to restaurants, as long as it’s in the off hour. This is different from home because at home, they consider anything below 1.5 neutropenic…here in Seattle, they say anything under .5!!!!! Crazy, huh?! They of course ask that I be extra careful being around lots of people right now, but they don’t seem to limit the patients as much as they do back home.

We went back to the Hutch today so I could meet with a finance specialist and a social worker (Laura and I each met with her). We also had chest x-rays to make sure they’re clear, just part of the work-ups. Then we met with the doctor on the rotation for my team (the red team) right now. Finally, after that, I went and got some blood, so it was a busy, long day today, but the wonderful thing is that we did all of this in one place! The Hutch is so incredibly well organized. As part of my transplant team, I have a specific financial specialist, nurse, social worker, physician’s assistant, nutritionist, scheduler and pharmacist. The attending physicians rotate each month. This way, they dedicate all their time to either clinical appointments or research. Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center is a teaching institution, and research is incredibly important. I just signed a bunch of consent forms today, giving them permission to use my experience and my blood supplies to help future patients. Research is so important for medicine, and I know the treatments for me have gone so well because of patients before me who agreed to be part of research studies. You’re probably thinking, “what do you mean they went so well? You relapsed!!!” . You know what I mean though. My experience has been relatively comfortable compared to what patients dealt with years ago (knock on wood!).

Anyway, this is ridiculously long, so I’ll just say a litle more before signing off. The night before I left Virginia, I talked with Ronnie about what lies ahead. Everyone else was asleep, and I was on my way to bed, but then the tears started, and I knew I had to get some of my feelings out. Ronnie knows so much about the medical aspect of the transplant process and leukemia in general, and I know he will never just say “don’t worry. You’ll be fine”. I got out all my worries, and he helped me work them through, even making me laugh!!

Sometimes I think I’m too selfish with my feelings. I know, I should be allowed to be selfish right now, but I am only recently thinking more about how my family and friends are affected by this whole process. I can’t help but feel annoyed when I feel like everyone is constantly watching me and asking “Are you OK?”, “Can I get you anything?”. I feel grateful but annoyed at the same time, I guess. Then I feel guilty for feeling irritated. I’m pretty sure this is how any patient would feel in my situation, but I have to remind myself of what they are all going through as well. To my fam, I know you all know how much I love you, but I still feel like I need to say that I appreciate everything you’ve done and are doing for me. I apologize in advance for my irritability and frustration. And I thank you in advance for all the things you will bring me when I’m not feeling well….every lemonade, hot chocolate, bottled water, crackers, etc.

All right, my fingers are hurting, so I’m off to take care of some paperwork before bed. I know this is a long post, but read up! There will be a quiz on the blog, and the winner will get…um…let’s see…they will be awarded a phone conversation with me! Yah, I’m in high demand. hahahaha

Hope everyone is doing well!!